


Trick or Treat: the Treat is you.

by GeeLiz_98



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, Developing Friendships, Fluff and Angst, Halloween, M/M, Queen (Band) References, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27293965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeeLiz_98/pseuds/GeeLiz_98
Summary: This Halloween was the scariest Baekhyun had experienced. And it had nothing to do with the monsters.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	Trick or Treat: the Treat is you.

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally a stream of consciousness that I wrote for fun. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy ;)

Baekhyun wasn’t allowed to have his music too loud in case the neighbours heard. It wasn’t as though the walls were paper thin but his mother was paranoid about causing some kind of disturbance, even if the couple next door were unbelievably elderly and most likely deaf. 

For Baekhyun, that meant he had to strain his ears to hear the sounds pouring from his old, crinkly speaker system. 

He was lucky to have one at all given his mother’s resistance to any form of entertainment that wasn’t her television - last replaced in 2006 with the absolute minimum number of channels - or a book, only ever second hand because “books don’t have longevity. They get read once and forgotten.” Baekhyun found her frugal attitude to life insufferable. there was conscientiousness and then there was martyrdom and Baekhyun thought his mother’s need to restrict herself was mind-boggling. 

That was her all-over, really. Utterly mind boggling. 

“Ugh!” Baekhyun groaned, thrashing about on the bed in his childhood room, kicking his legs in desperation to expend a bit of energy. 

Every few months, it was tradition that he come home and stay with his mother for the weekend and it had been ever since he had started at university 5 years ago. At first, it had been a great novelty; his mother fed him well, cleaned his laundry, and she gave him far less grief when he was away if he appeased her by showing his face every now and then. 

At 24 years of age, he hadn’t quite broken the habit and still found himself back in his old room. 

It felt like a time-capsule. A snapshot in time from his childhood and he hated it. 

Not allowed a single poster on the wall, his room was nothing but a pale blue box, lacking in personality and atmosphere. The main decor came in the form of his study desk (where he spent most of his time), a wardrobe and his shelf of textbooks (all previously owned by someone else, naturally). That was it. No signs of the actual teenager who had lived there for 19 years. 

The only thing that had any semblance of his personality in it was his CD player and the CDs that he bought for it. Even that came from his grandmother’s house after she died and jumped whenever he stepped near it but it was something. 

His entire youth secretly lay in the box of music underneath his bed, hidden from his mother’s scrutiny. 

It was music that taught him how to be himself.

It was music that taught him how to have fun, how to love, how to feel things other than...nothing much at all. 

From music, he learned how to cry. He learned to cry to the gentle sounds of Fleetwood Mac’s Songbird, or to the Beatles’ Yesterday. 

He laughed at the ludicrousness of The Smiths’ discography but it also taught him what it felt like to romanticise life beyond any real merit. 

From disco classics, he learned how to dance, how to free the mind from the body and shake the day’s troubles out through his finger and down into the tips of his toes. 

Through Queen, he learned how to love. He learned how to scream at the top of his lungs when his mom wasn’t home, confidently declaring to the silent world that he knew who he was deep inside because Freddy Mercury had taught him that there are different and special ways to love which resonated deeply within Baekhyun. He promised himself that would break free one day and let the person he was inside out. 

Since leaving his home, he had certainly begun to understand himself better than ever but he hadn’t anticipated that breaking out and showing himself to the world would be quite so tricky. 

It was a work in progress.

If there was one benefit to having to listen to Queen’s classic album ‘Innuendo’ at volume level 1, it was that Baekhyun could hear the door go perfectly clearly.

“Will you get that please, Baekhyun?” His mother called from the living room, “I’m on the phone to your auntie.”

He couldn’t help but tut and huff under his breath, “can’t pay for unlimited wifi but will talk on the landline for hours.” 

Trying not to stomp down the stairs but wanting to feel the freedom of throwing a tantrum, Baekhyun went into the hall and opened the door a fraction, confused as to why someone would knock his door in the dark and cold. 

What he saw confused him to no end. 

“Trick or treat?” Two tiny people dressed as strange creatures sang at him with massive smiles. 

_ Oh.  _ In his isolation, he had completely forgotten that it was Halloween. Not that his mother had ever let him celebrate the occasion, anyway. Had she realised herself, she would have barricaded the doors and turned all of the lights off. 

The children were the least shocking revelation, however. Far less than the tall vampire standing behind them. 

“Oh, hey Baek!” the man greeted, sounding almost as excited as the children, “I didn’t know you lived around here.”

Park Chanyeol. 

Since moving away and staying away for 5 years, Baekhyun had seen very little of Park Chanyeol. That wasn’t to say he didn’t think of him, though. That didn’t mean to say that Baekhyun didn’t intentionally go to the cafe Chanyeol’s mother owned, knowing that the other man would be on his break, just to spend a little more time with him. He hadn’t seen Chanyeol but he texted him all of the time. There was something about the goofy tall man that drew Baekhyun towards him. 

When they were kids, Chanyeol was a strange boy. He was obsessed with animals and ancient history to the point where other children didn’t know what to say to him. It didn’t matter to Baekhyun one bit because the tiny chatty Chanyeol could fill in all of the blanks where Baekhyun’s own passions should have been. 

“Hi, Chanyeol!” Baekhyun couldn’t help but match Chanyeol’s smile with his own, “I don’t technically live here at all.”

Chanyeol’s laughter was loud and boisterous, as was the rest of him. Baekhyun loved how easy it was to make him laugh. 

“Of course,” Chanyeol teased, “you’re a fancy big shot boy now!” 

Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel a little flustered at that comment. After all, being able to move to the next town over and work in his dream job as a music columnist for a big publication was his proudest achievement. The fact that Chanyeol also thought it was impressive was flattering. 

“I guess you could say that,” Baekhyun muttered with a shy grin.

“Wait!” Chanyeol shouted suddenly, making Baekhyun’s heart skip, not for the first time in the last few moments, “I didn’t introduce you to my cousins!” 

The little boy and girl were smiling at Baekhyun expectantly, one a witch and one a cat, possibly (his makeup had rubbed off and he more looked like a chimney sweep by that point). They clutched their pumpkin sweet buckets tightly.

“This is Chaeryong,” he placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder, “and this is Changmin.”

“There’s a theme, I see.”   
  


Chanyeol raised a perplexed eyebrow, “like what?”

“The ‘Cha’ thing. You all have a ‘Cha’ name. Does it run in the family?”

“Oh! That! No,” Chanyeol waved his hands unnecessarily, “we aren’t  _ actual  _ cousins. They’re my sister’s friend’s kids.”

“Yeah! Uncle Chanyeol wanted to find someone to go trick-or-treating with so we invited him,” the little girl said with a toothless grin, not realising that she had just given Baekhyun a lifetime of teasing material. 

“Is that true, Chanyeol?”

The other man went red as a tomato, eyes like saucers but Baekhyun could only laugh at him. As a 24-year-old man, Chanyeol was nothing more than a big child. Baekhyun thought it was endearing. 

“Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone,” he said with a wink, “wait there and I’ll find you some treats.”

Unsurprisingly, there was nothing in the kitchen to satisfy a child's taste buds on Halloween of all days so Baekhyun had to settle for some glutinous rice cakes his mother had brought home from the office. They stank of cold coffee for some reason but it was all he had. 

“Sorry,” he said as he handed the small box over to the children, “this is all I have.”

Chaeryeong looked a bit disappointed but she still smiled and offered her thanks. Changmin on the other hand went straight for the biggest one and took into his mouth whole.

“I  _ love  _ tiramisu rice cakes,” he waffled around the chewy ball. 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol ruptured into laughter, surprised that a child would love something so adult. 

He was an unusual child and both Baekhyun and Chanyeol knew what that was like very well. 

“Well, it was really nice to see you, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol said with a sincere smile, “I’d give you a hug but,” he flapped his arms which were restricted by a synthetic vampire cape. 

It was weird how Baekhyun’s heart sank a little at that but he smiled anyway. 

“That’s fine. You’ll have to owe me one,” he bobbed his tongue out and Chanyeol poked his out right back. 

“Bye, Baek.”

Baekhyun waved until Chanyeol and the kids were turning back up the path and shut the door behind him.

As soon as the door closed, he leaned back against it and let out a breath he wasn’t aware he had even been holding in. Chanyeol sometimes had that effect on him and it was quite scary. Maybe one day he would be able to say out loud why the other man’s smile made his heart race.

That day would come. Today was not that day.

“Who was that?” His mother appeared in the hall, clutching the phone to her chest.

“Chanyeol.”

“What that weird boy? The Parks’ son? What does he want?” Baekhyun seethed at the disgusted look on her face. She could be so judgmental and that judgement extended way beyond her son. 

“It’s Halloween,” Baekhyun tried to sound nonchalant but he could sense a storm was coming. 

His mother scoffed and started chuntering about corporations and pretend holidays, created purely to make money. Baekhyun tried his hardest to block her out but he never had mastered the art of ignoring her shrill tones. 

“Don’t tell me you gave them sweets!” 

“No,” he said, which wasn’t entirely a lie. 

“Good. Well, I’m switching the lights off and heading up to bed. You should do the same.”

It wasn’t as though he had a choice so he stormed up to his room (which in his house meant moving a bit faster and more heavy-footed than usual) and threw himself on his bed. 

Another Halloween would pass without him so much as observing it by passing sweets out of the door. All of his life he had wanted to know what all of the fuss was about but the celebrations were so far out of his reach that he didn’t even clock what the date was. 

His phone lay cold beside his pillow and he reached over to peep at the time.

8:45. 

The night had barely begun yet Baekhyun had been banished to his room like a disobedient child on a night when the rest of the world was partying. Enjoying themselves. Living their lives to the fullest.

For a while, the Queen CD ran through over and over a few times while Baekhyun entertained himself with his own thoughts but he was getting restless.

If he was being honest with himself, there was nothing actually tying him to that bed. He was an adult, he could walk out of that door and go anywhere without his mother being able to do a thing about it. 

“Fuck it,” he snapped, leaping off the bed and heading to his wardrobe. 

He hadn’t actually planned on going to a Halloween party and he didn’t have much time to do anything fancy if he wanted to make a night of it. All he had in his wardrobe at his mother’s house were pairs of jeans, t-shirts, and the odd jumper for when he was dragged on family outings.

Willing to settle for anything, he threw on the first black clothing items he could find and grabbed his black converse from when he was 16 years of age. They were ugly but all of his slightly more adventurous clothes were at home. Even the subtle eyeliner he wore sometimes was out of bounds as far as his mother was concerned so he didn’t have any with him.

It would have to do. 

He grabbed his phone, keys, and shoes and headed downstairs. 

As an afterthought, he decided to leave his mother a note to say he had gone to visit a friend whom he actually hadn’t spoken to for years (mother’s stamp of approval, though) and headed out. 

Having never witnessed Halloween night first hand, Baekhyun was shocked by how many ghouls and monsters were roaming the streets. Many were children with their parents but equally as many were adults heading on nights out, some already drunker than others. 

Baekhyun didn’t have any specific plans as to where he would go but he supposed in the direction of the clubbing and bar district would probably be a good place to start. 

He did have a specific bar in mind but he was unsure he was brave enough to go inside on his own. 

A few times when he had been bored at home, Baekhyun had headed over to stand outside the bar like a creep and watch the patrons coming and going. It helped him feel a little closer to them, to himself, to see the strange and beautiful people dressed up to the nines walking in and out of a place that seemed so far out of his reach.

As though he were on autopilot, his feet took him through the throws of people, weaving him in and out of crowds of slutty nuns and pound shop superheroes until he was right across the street from the bar in question. 

It was called Missing. 

To the unassuming eye, it looked like nothing more than a simple bar. But if one looked closely enough, they would see the rainbow flag waving proudly over the door. To Baekhyun it looked like everything he ever wanted. 

It seemed silly really, on a night when anyone could be anything they wanted to be, to be so terrified about walking into a gay bar at the very least but it felt like such a big step.

Not because he really believed that anything would change for the worse when he got in there; he had already come to terms with the fact that he was gay, he already felt comfortable enough to admit that to himself and no one could take that from him. The idea of showing that to the world, however, was very scary. 

Mostly because of the steps that came after that. Would he have to tell his mother? Would he have to tell everyone else? Would he have to tell Chanyeol?

Chanyeol.

That was a whole other mountain he had to climb and he had no idea where he would even start. 

“Oi!” 

Baekhyun whipped his head around to the source of the sound and was shocked to see a man dressed as a maid, stockings and all, while also wearing massive combat boots heading over to him. It took a lot of effort to not look terrified. 

“You got a lighter?” The man asked, brandishing an unlit cigarette. 

“Er...no, sorry I-”

“Ah shit,” the man stomped his foot and threw his head back in irritation, “mine broke earlier and I’m gagging. Not the only thing I’m gagging on tonight, right Junmyeon?!”

He called to someone behind him and a man dressed some kind of awkwardly sexy bunny with too much effort on the makeup to actually be sexy turned their way. 

“Fuck off, Sehun!” 

The maid, Sehun apparently, looked very pleased with himself as he looked back to Baekhyun.

“You staying out in the cold or you coming in?”

Baekhyun froze. How did the stranger know that he was gay? Could he somehow tell from the way he was standing? Was it the way he spoke? The thought was terrifying. 

“I-”

“Unless the straight boy concept you’ve got going on isn’t a costume, why else would you be standing outside of a gay bar like your destiny is to haunt it for eternity?”

Baekhyun wasn’t sure what to say to that so he simply stared at his feet in discomfort. 

He only looked up when he heard Sehun sigh and when he did, the other man looked strangely sympathetic and understanding. 

“First time?”

“Erm,” Baekhyun’s heart was pounding and his palms were sweating from the nerves, “not the first time standing outside like this...no.”

Sehun almost looked sad at that revelation but quickly steeled himself and linked his arm with Baekhyun’s. 

“Come on,” he said casually as if he wasn’t aware he was helping Baekhyun to take the biggest leap of his life so far, “you’re with me now.”

Sehun pulled Baekhyun over to Junmyeon, his closeness offering comfort. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard going in if he didn’t have to do it alone.

“Jun, this is Baekhyun. He’s my new friend.”

The man turned to face Baekhyun with a polite but slightly confused smile. He looked a bit ridiculous in short white shorts with his muscular thighs fit to burst out of them, along with badly painted on whiskers and a massive white tail. He was still really handsome. That was undeniable.

“A new friend?” Junmyeon questioned sounding a bit fed up, “I’ve told you before, you can’t go around picking people up and dragging them around when you’re drunk.”   
  


Sehun pouted as though he had been scolded, “you aren’t my mom.”

“No but I am your fiance. Which means I can still kick you out of the house without repercussions,” he said seriously but with a sly glint in his eyes, “sorry Baekhyun. You can go back to your friends. Sehun’s an annoying drunk.”

As if sensing what Baekhyun was thinking, that he didn’t actually want to be on his own at all, Sehun squeezed his arm a bit tighter. 

  
“I came alone, actually,” Baekhyun admitted quietly, “I...I’ve never been here before.”

A hint of understanding flashed across Junmyeon’s face before he looked at Sehun for some confirmation. When Sehun nodded, Junmyeon offered Baekhyun the kindest smile he could muster. 

“Well then, Baekhyun,” he flanked Baekhyun’s other side and linked his free arm, “looks like you’ve got two friends now.” 

The queue outside of the bar was long but it was moving very quickly as it seemed the woman on the door knew most of the people trying to get in and so didn’t need to do any ID checks. 

It was unbelievable how much Baekhyun’s heart was racing, whether it was from nerves or from excitement he couldn’t be sure but what he did know was that he felt like he was watching himself from a distance, standing outside of himself as he took steps that he never imagined he would be able to take.

When they got to the queue, the security woman - who was dressed top to toe in leather and had a frightful mullet - moved to lift the rope to the door before freezing upon spotting Baekhyun.

“Who’s this?” 

“This,” Sehun said as he wrapped a protective arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders which settled his nerves slightly, “is Baekhyun. He is my new friend.”

The woman turned to give Junmyeon an incredulous look, “you’re letting him kidnap another one?”

Junmyeon sighed and shook his head, “no, Ga-in. Shockingly, this one is here by choice.”

She looked doubtful but didn’t seem interested enough to ask any more questions. It was becoming clear that Sehun was quite the social drunk much to everyone else’s disdain. 

“So,” Ga-in turned to face Baekhyun and inspected his face too intently for comfort, “I take it you aren’t as “16-years-of-age” as you look?” 

Baekhyun couldn’t decide whether he should be offended but, then again, he was wearing an outfit that hadn’t seen the light of day since he was about 16 so she had a point. 

“No, I’m 24,” he said with his chest puffed out a little too far as if he were recently legal and trying to get alcohol for the first time.

“Whatever,” Ga-in seemed to have lost interest and moved the rope to let them inside the foyer.

They weren’t quite at the double doors which led into the main room before Ga-in peeped around the doorway and bellowed at Sehun. 

“You better behave yourself!” 

All Sehun did was blow her a kiss before bursting the door open. 

The music hit Baekhyun right away. It was so loud, an overly energetic pop song he wasn’t sure he had ever heard before blasting from some speakers propped up in every corner of the room. 

There were so many people. Some were sitting at tables, shouting to be heard over the music and laughing at a thousand different stories all being told at once. Others were gathered at the bar. Most were crowded on the dancefloor, moving carelessly against the beat of song filling the room as they were all too drunk to quite move on time. Some were alone, some were wrapped up in the arms of others but all of them looked happy. 

A feature Baekhyun suspected wasn’t permanent were the swathes of fake cobwebs and lit up pumpkin lamps decorating every table. 

The number of zombies standing in line for the toilets was another clue that today was less than ordinary. 

Baekhyun was so stunned, struggling to take absolutely everything in that he didn't realise he had stopped dead in his tracks at the door until Sehun came back to fetch him.

"You okay?" He asked with sincerity, despite his inebriation.

Baekhyun wasn't entirely sure. He was pleased to note that nothing catastrophically terrible had happened since he stepped inside: no falling ceiling lights, no hell fire, no one had kicked him out, and his mother hadn't caught him yet which was a relief.

He was almost in shock. He couldn't believe he'd done it and how painless it was. 

"Yeah I...I think I'm fine," Baekhyun said with a smile and he meant it. It felt like a weight had somehow been lifted. He had managed to come out to a complete stranger and had gone to his first gay bar. All on the scariest night of the year.

Sehun smiled back. Considering he had barely known Baekhyun for 10 minutes, he seemed bizarrely proud of him. There was a glimmer of understanding in his sharp eyes which made Baekhyun wonder if he had once been in Baekhyun's shoes (much nicer and stylish, presumably). 

Every single person in that room had to take the leap to find themselves there for the first time, really. Some would have taken larger leaps than others, there would be the shadows of people who had never returned and the longing presence of those who hadn't yet found the courage but every single person would have some understanding of what Baekhyun was feeling. 

That thought alone made Baekhyun's shoulders relax a little. 

"Come on," Sehun said softly, taking Baekhyun's hand in his own and pulling him through the bodies and humidity of the dance floor and over to a large crowded table. 

"And so he returns!" A man dressed as some kind of fairy with glittery eyeshadow and elaborate baby blue wings announced to the group, raising a glass in Sehun's direction. 

There were seven people seated at the table, all dressed up with varying levels of enthusiasm, some having made much more effort than others. They were also varying degrees of terrifying and not because of their costumes. Baekhyun had never been in the presence of so many gay people (he guessed they were, at least he wasn't sure how gay bars worked) and it made him a little nervous. What should he say to them? 

"Hope you didn't miss me too much," Sehun winked as he nudged a man dressed as Anna from Frozen (very accurately, at that) with his foot so he'd move around the leather seat.

"Not at all," a terrifying looking man quipped. He was wearing some kind of sexy cat outfit with shockingly short shorts, a black polo neck and doc martens revealed by the way he rested one leg on top of the other. He sipped a cocktail without even looking at Sehun or Baekhyun. 

Secretly relieved, Baekhyun sat on the seat Sehun had cleared for him and tucked his arms in closely, hoping that maybe the scary man wouldn't notice him.

"I don't even remember inviting you, Kim Kibum," Sehun snapped and threw a napkin at the man, Kibum, and pouted when it only fluttered back to the table and into a wet patch. 

"You're a child." Kibum wasn't phased.

Feeling brave enough to glance around while Sehun had everyone's attention with his petulant whining, Baekhyun lifted his eyes a little higher and met his gaze with the fairy.

His dark skin glowed under the coloured lights and reds and greens shone from his face and arms as the glitter reflected the lights. When Baekhyun noticed he was wearing a crop top that revealed a very toned stomach, his throat nearly closed up. 

The way he smiled at Baekhyun was awe striking. Why was he smiling at Baekhyun?

Before Baekhyun could remember how to move his facial muscles to smile back, the man reached over to shake his hand.

"I'm Jongin," he introduced himself. Even his nails were painted blue to match his wings and he had flowers painted up his forearms. He was dazzlingly gorgeous.

"Baekhyun."

"Nice to meet you, Baekhyun. Don't mind these lot. They're really friendly, I promise. Kibum and Sehun are always at each other's throats," he burst into bright giggles, his pearly teeth exposed and his eyes crinkled shut. 

It was impossible to not laugh along. His happiness was infectious.

"Hey guys! Introduce yourselves to Baekhyun," he shouted while thumping the table to get their attention.

It worked because Baekhyun received a chorus of hellos and small waves. Even Kibum offered him a kind smile, no irritation remaining. 

"Hi." Baekhyun managed to say. 

"I've never seen you here before," a young woman sitting next to Kibum said. She stood up to lean over and offer a handshake, "Seugli by the way."

She was dressed as Wednesday Adams except, instead of the usual black dress get up, she was dressed in leather trousers and a black button up blouse. 

"I-I've never been here before. This is my first time."

Sehun perked up again and dragged Baekhyun in for a side hug.

"Baekhyun, here, is a baby gay! And I'm his gay mom." 

"He looks older than you, dickhead," another man drawled.

This was the man who hadn't made much effort. If not for the stitches drawn on his head and the fake plastic bolts in his neck, anyone would be fooled into thinking his t-shirt and jeans were his normal clothes.

The man looked over to Baekhyun with a shy smile and small wave, "I'm Kyungsoo. Don't let Sehun smother you."

Clearly having his fill for the evening, Sehun stood up out of his seat and climbed over everyone to get out.

"I'm finding my boyfriend. At least he treats me with respect." 

"No he doesn't," Kibum whispered when Sehun was out of earshot which made everyone else titter.

"Sehun's a cutie," a vampire sighed, "but he's insufferable."

"Why?" Baekhyun piped up, really desperate to be involved in this conversation but feeling inferior in the presence of these people. 

"He's the youngest," the vampire explained, "and he plays up to it for attention. He's not mad really. But don't tell him I said that!" 

The vampire was called Taemin. He was a much sexier vampire than Chanyeol had been. He wore a floaty shirt with puffy long sleeves laced up from the torso to the neck, complete with a leather corset belt. It seemed that the man was already naturally pale but his black eyeliner and deep red lip tint made him look even paler.

Yet another beautiful person. 

Baekhyun wondered what Chanyeol would make of all this. He would still be the most handsome man in the room even next to all of these practical models, Baekhyun thought. 

Anna was the only one who hadn't said anything because he was messing on his phone. He seemed to be older than the others anyway so probably wasn't interested in their antics.

Sensing Baekhyun’s curiosity, Kyungsoo explained that the man’s name was Heechul, that he was in fact older than the rest of them and that he was in the midst of some kind of dramatic break-up situation. 

“Hang on,” Kyungsoo said to Baekhyun before reaching across to smack Heechul on the back of the head, “hey! Get off Grindr and say hello to our guest!”

The older man snapped his head up, falling back into the room. He seemed to have forgotten he even had company and looked slightly dazed. 

“This is Baekhyun,” Jongin explained, still smiling, “he’s new here so be nice!”

Heechul scoffed in disbelief, “me?! Be nice?! I’m older than you lot and you treat me like your younger sibling don’t lecture me on ‘nice’.”

Baekhyun didn’t think he was going to introduce himself at all until Heechul sighed and dropped his phone on the table.

“Hi, Baekhyun,” he sounded forlorn until he looked up to Baekhyun and gasped in disgust “why aren’t you dressed up!? Who hurt you?!”   
  


It hadn’t really occurred to Baekhyun until Heechul pointed out his lack of costume that he sort of stuck out like a sore thumb. Looking around the room with fresh eyes and without a veil of awe and panic made Baekhyun feel a bit self-conscious. 

“I don’t have a costume to wear, I...I’ve been staying with my mom so I...do I look stupid?” He couldn’t help the insecurity seeping into his tone.

“Oh my god, no!” Jongin shouted, sounding horrified that Baekhyun would feel bad about himself even one bit, “don’t feel bad! Look,” he stood up and climbed over the legs in his way, knocking poor Kyungsoo in the face with his fairy wings, “come with me! I can help you out!”

He grabbed Baekhyun’s wrist and pulled him out of his seat and in the direction of the small stage at the front of the room where a DJ was set up. 

“The great thing about this place,” Jongin explained while he pushed some dancers out of the way to clear a path, “is that there’s always a drag queen or two.”

He walked Baekhyun over to a door which had a ‘private’ sign displayed on the front and, without any concern for this, pushed it open to reveal a dressing room overflowing with costumes galore. 

“Now,” Jongin said as he started to move aside some boxes to empty the floor near the clothes racks, “unless you are a fan of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, there might not be much here but,” he pulled out a Madonna-style golden bra and held it up to his own toned chest with curiosity, “we can get creative.”

Baekhyun could tell that they would have to get pretty adventurous if he was going to find anything in that room. In his everyday life, Baekhyun would consider himself pretty outlandish; he took pride in his appearance, he had a daily make-up routine and took great pleasure in doing simple eye makeup looks and styling his hair but in this bar, he seemed as plain as anything. He wasn’t entirely sure whether bras and ball gowns would really bring out the ‘Baekhyun’ he felt he was on the inside.

“I’m not sure there will be anything here for me…”

“Hmm,” Jongin looked at Baekhyun then looked at the clothing available, “well, you tell me! What do you like? What do  _ you _ want to wear?”

“I…”

He wasn’t sure. See, Baekhyun had spent so much time worrying about meeting the expectations of his mother and focusing on working out who he was at the bare roots of his Self that he had barely scratched the surface of what he  _ liked  _ or what interested him. He was still working on the basics. Things that most people already had covered when they were teenagers.

“Okay then,” Jongin walked around the room, a pensive look on his face, “how about...what music do you like?”

Music! If there was anything that Baekhyun knew it was music!   
  


“I like Queen!”

“Ah perfect!” Jongin was excited once again and Baekhyun was baffled by the amount of energy he had. Perhaps he was a bit drunk.

Like a man on a mission, Jongin threw about dresses and shirts giving each one barely a second glance and ripping everything off the racks until he found a pair of leather trousers which he threw at Baekhyun.

“Put those on first.”

Baekhyun hesitated, not sure whether he was supposed to get dressed in the middle of the room before he spotted a vintage dressing screen in the corner of the room. 

The leather trousers were painfully difficult to get on given that they didn’t have much stretch and Baekhyun had always been a little curvy but when they were on, they looked great. He inspected himself in the mirror, surprised at how good he felt about himself in something other than skinny jeans or his work trousers. He almost felt sexy.

“Here you go, Baek!” 

A few items flew over the screen and landed on top of Baekhyun as he scrambled to catch them. 

Jongin had opted for a sheer black vest, a gaudy yellow leather jacket and a crappy cheap moustache. 

Freddi Mercury. Nice.

“Er, Jongin?”   
  


“Yeah, babe!” 

“Can I ditch the moustache?”

That amused Jongin to no end.

After decorating Baekhyun’s cheeks with glitter and layering on some thick eyeliner, Jongin was satisfied. 

“Now let’s get you pissed.”

  
  


When they arrived back at their table, more people had gathered so it was a tight squeeze. Even Sehun had returned (he was still pouting and being coddled by Junmyeon, mind).

“Ah you’re back just in time,” Seulgi announced.

“For what?” Jongin unceremoniously threw himself on the seat and pulled Baekhyun with him.

“We’re playing never have I ever!” A new man said with a sly grin. He was dressed up as a footballer or something of the like. 

“Thought you were watching sports or some shit! Minho, don’t bring your crappy games here to make us suffer. Kibum,” Sehun had perked up but only so that he could whine some more, “can you control your boyfriend, please?”

“Oh lighten up, Sehun!” Jongin took a drink from the tray for himself and Baekhyun. 

Minho explained that this game would have slightly different rules: you would only drink if you  _ had never  _ done the act in question. Apparently, they were a ‘filthy bunch of perverts’ and the game would be no fun otherwise. Baekhyun knew he was doomed. 

“Okay! I’ll go first!” Sehun shouted over everyone much to the dismay of his finance who rubbed his ear in pain.

“Soooo,” Sehun thought carefully, “an easy one, first. Never have I ever...had a boyfriend!”

Reluctantly, Baekhyun reached for his drink, secretly wanting to lie but not wanting to ruin the fun. That was the whole purpose of the game, after all, to expose your secrets and get drunk. 

Luckily for him, everyone was more focused on Seulgi.

“Excuse me, miss,” Heechul slurred, seemingly over his boyfriend drama (or too drunk to remember what he was upset about), “could you drink something, please.”

“Yeah, stop cheating,” came a chorus of voices and Baekhyun thought their outrage was amusing. Not quite as much as Seulgi’s frustration.

“Fuck off!” She snapped, “just because I’m a lesbian doesn’t mean I’ve never been with a man! You’re all so ignorant. Shit me! Is it the dick? Is that what makes you stupid?!”

There came an uproar of protest and Kibum spat his drink out from laughing so hard. 

“I’m talking to you as well, Kibum!” 

“Me?!” He looked perplexed, “I  _ met  _ him!?”

“Alright, alright,” Kyungsoo boomed over everyone else, “next question. Never have I ever sucked a dick.”

“You’re a bastard, Kyungsoo,” Seugli spat before taking a sip.

The game went relatively more smoothly after that but not without equal amounts of shouting and screaming. Baekhyun had never drunk more in his life and couldn’t help his roaring laughter as he discovered all of the outrageous things these people got up to. 

He laughed as he heard tales of sex in bushes, things going into holes that he would never have imagined would go into holes, tales of drama right out of a soap opera. And Baekhyun took a giant sip with every question. 

As Baekhyun lolled about giggling, Jongin watched him fondly. 

“Having fun?”

“Yesssssss,” Baekhyun slurred back with a grin from ear to ear. He had very little control over his tongue. 

“You are winning, I suppose!”   
  


Baekhyun’s eyes went wide at the realisation, “I AM winning!” 

He snorted and slumped his head on Jongin’s shoulder, collapsing into another fit of giggles. 

“Guys! We need to keep going until Baekhyun loses a round!” Jongin suggested.

Then the questions began to fly.

“Never have I ever kissed a boy!”

“Nope!” Another sip.

“Never have I ever kissed a girl!”   
  


Another sip.

“Never have I ever had a crush on a boy!”   
  


Baekhyun reached for his glass and froze.

“You have!” Sehun sounded too excited.

“Who, who, who?” Jongin tapped his arm repetitively and Baekhyun blushed at the attention. 

Should he tell them? Should he tell them about Chanyeol? He had never told anyone before but he had already spilt most of his secrets. 

If Kibum was able to reveal that he had once had sex with Minho in a football ground changing room, Baekhyun can tell them all about Chanyeol.

“My old school friend...Chanyeol,” he said, feeling slightly more sober all of a sudden, “we’ve known each other for years and he’s so nice and smart and  _ handsome  _ but…”

Taemin piped up first, “have you told him?”   
  


Baekhyun shook his head. 

“Why not?!” Sehun slurred a little from the amount of alcohol in his system, yelling as he had lost the ability to control the levels of his own voice. 

It was a fair question, though. Why had Baekhyun not told Chanyeol?

His feelings had been brewing under the surface for years. What at first felt like a very special friendship blossomed over time into something far deeper and it became abundantly clear that special friendships don’t lead to a yearning as deep as Baekhyun felt when he moved away from home, forced to be away from the other man for the first time. 

He’d see Chanyeol’s face in strangers on the commute to university, he would think of stories he could save up to tell Chanyeol when he returned home, and he would listen to songs that he knew Chanyeol loved so that he could feel that little bit closer to him. 

Even when Baekhyun made friends with other people, it never felt the same. That was when he realised that Chanyeol would always be more than a friend. 

Had Chanyeol been a girl, Baekhyun would surely have confessed to him already. Before he fell asleep at night, he would paint a picture in his mind of the day he finally confessed to the other. As he rested on his pillow, he ran the conversation he could have with him over and over in his mind, he already knew what he would say and how he would say it. The confession itself wasn’t the problem. Baekhyun wasn’t a shy man and Chanyeol had been his friend for a long time; there was nothing he wouldn’t tell him. 

Apart from this. 

Of course, Chanyeol wasn’t a girl and that was where the problem lay. There were nights when sleep wouldn’t quite take him when Baekhyun wouldn’t be able to conjure up an image in his mind in which he and Chanyeol got their happily ever after. It seemed too out of reach, too unattainable and his heart would crack so intensely that he could feel it reverberate through his bones. On those days he wouldn’t be able to stop himself if he felt the urge to cry.

Feeling a lump rise in his throat, Baekhyun choked out, barely audible over the music, “I don’t even know if he’s gay…”   
  


Everyone around the table had their eyes on him and he felt silly. He shouldn’t have said anything at all. They must have thought he was pathetic for even allowing himself to fall for someone who very clearly didn’t feel the same way and who might not even be gay, at that. 

“I bet you think I’m an idiot…”

The ripple of shocked faces around the table told Baekhyun otherwise. 

“Why would we think that?” Jongin looked genuinely upset, not offended as much as concerned for Baekhyun and the way he was beating himself up inside, “falling for someone who might be straight isn’t silly. The heart wants what it wants and this Chanyeol guy must be nice for you to be his friend for so long. We’ve all been there. You’re not an idiot.”

It took a while for Jongin’s words to sink in before Baekhyun asked whether he was certain, “you’ve really all been in this situation? Scared in case you’ve given your heart to someone who could never give theirs in return, even if they are really nice and kind and would usually do anything for you…”

He trailed off, not sure how to articulate his fear in a way that would fully encapsulate how deep it ran. He didn’t know how to explain how scared he was of having his heart broken to anyone who had never felt that way.

“Hey, Baek,” Kibum called across softly to get Baekhyun’s attention. 

Since their drinking game had petered off, Kibum had moved in closer to Minho and was resting in the crook of his neck, allowing himself to melt into the other man’s side, clasping his hand in his lap tightly as though it had always belonged there.

“I know exactly how you feel,” he said as Minho nodded along, “because I had the same with this dumbo,” he poked Minho in the cheek teasingly, forcing a smile out of his boyfriend “I was terrified, to the point where I barely slept, that the captain of my school’s football team would find out I secretly wrote his name in hearts in my diary but-”

“What Kibum didn’t know,” Minho added, looking utterly besotted, “was that I was doing the same. And I was the one who confessed first, scared shitless in case  _ he  _ wasn’t gay.”

Baekhyun watched on as Kibum and Minho inched even closer to one another, placing a kiss on each other’s lips. It was amazing, he thought, to imagine a time in the past when these two men didn’t think they were made for each other. From where Baekhyun was seated, they seemed like two pieces of the same puzzle. He sometimes felt that way about him and Chanyeol. 

Sehun didn’t seem to see the romance in the story he had just heard, however, and was rolling about on the bench, tittering uncontrollably. 

“Minho thought Kibum was  _ straight, _ ” he howled with laughter, so intoxicated by this point and on the brink of being the alleged ‘troublemaker’ he had been branded by Ga-in, “he has a wine aerator in his kitchen. Straight! As if…”

Too confused to be offended Kibum looked at Sehun like he was falling ill with some kind of contagious pestilence, “what the hell does that even mean? You’re a dumb bitch…”

“Play nice,” Junmyeon ordered, hissing at his boyfriend who was now laughing so hard that people were starting to look their way.

“No, no, no,” Sehun sat up in his seat slowly, tilting his body slightly too far in one direction to pass as sober, “you don’t  _ understand.  _ I am  _ saying  _ if Minho didn’t know that  _ Kibum  _ of all people is gay, how do you know your Chanyeol friend isn’t?” Sehun looked smug, as though he had just said something utterly genius and deserved a pat on the back.

“I’m consciously deciding not to be offended at that,” Kibum looked at Sehun in disbelief. 

Junmyeon couldn’t have looked more grateful if he tried. 

“Whatever! Everyone is gay these days, Baekhyun! Tell him! What’s the worst that could happen?”

Oh, only a million different things rushed through Baekhyun’s head within milliseconds. He hardly knew which one to choose first.

“Sehun,” Kyungsoo interrupted his delusional ramblings, “are you sure this is a good idea?”

“I dunno. I’m drunk,” Sehun replied with nonchalance. 

The trouble was, Baekhyun was also very drunk. Probably drunker than Sehun. So his mind was running at a mile a minute, filled with too many questions to give any of them the time of day but one thought that constantly came back to the forefront of his mind that this was his chance. Maybe he had been looking for a sign to take the leap and tell Chanyeol. Perhaps Sehun’s recklessness was the sign he needed.

Another thought that popped into his clouded mind was the idea that this may be his only chance. Never before in his life had he been in the position to talk to another person about his troubles and even more remote was the opportunity to ask for their help. If not now then when? 

The possibility of the answer being never felt far worse than a future without ever telling Chanyeol how he felt.

Fuck it.

“I am also really fucking drunk,” he said breathlessly as he reached into the pocket of his newly acquired leather trousers and dropped it on the table, “but not drunk enough to text him myself.”

  
  
  


When Baekhyun stepped outside of the bar and into the cold night air, the alcohol hit him full on and the world started to spin. 

“Holy shit, I’m pissed,” he snorted as he attempted to walk in a straight line, placing one foot haphazardly in front of the other. 

“Don’t worry,” Jongin came and placed an arm around his waist to stabilise Baekyhun’s swaying body, “you’ll sober up by the time we get there,” he started to walk Baekhyun forwards and down the street away from the bar before slowing down to wait for the others, glaring at Sehun who was singing at the top of his lungs, somehow making his fiance laugh with eyes filled with love, “at least you aren’t as pissed as him.”

Back in the club, they had collectively composed a text message to Chanyeol asking if he was awake and whether Baekhyun could go and see him. 

Despite it being 1 am, Chanyeol had been wide awake playing video games over at his mother’s house and had agreed to have Baekhyun round. Even if he did seem a little confused, Baekhyun wanted to wait to tell him in person. 

He hadn’t wanted to go without moral support so had requested Jongin’s company. The other man had agreed wholeheartedly which made Baekhyun’s heart swell. He had only known Jongin for a few hours but he was already willing to spend the rest of his Halloween helping Baekhyun out. Dressed as a fairy at that. 

The only catch was that Taemin had to tag along. With strict instructions to keep it top secret, Jongin divulged that Taemin had actually been sleeping over at his apartment for the past 2 months. Baekhyun didn’t mind because Taemin seemed nice enough and was perfectly happy pulling up the rear as they wobbled noisily towards their destination. 

Naturally, Sehun had demanded he be invited because he was Baekhyun’s ‘new best friend’. Far drunker than he had been when Baekhyun met him a few hours ago, it wasn’t clear how he would be helpful in the slightest but Baekhyun would be lying if he said he didn’t secretly want Sehun there, anyway. After all, if it wasn’t for Sehun, he’d probably still be standing outside in the cold. 

And Junmyeon and Sehun came as one. 

It had been hours since all of the trick-or-treaters went home and all of the pumpkin lanterns had since blown out so the spirit of Halloween had sort of been lost. Baekhyun still felt powerful walking down the street dressed up in costume, fully embodying the confidence of Freddie Mercury, trying to recall everything the lyrics to Queen’s songs had ever taught him about taking risks in order to be oneself. 

As they approached Chanyeol’s street, Baekhyun began to feel his heart pounding, a sharp clarity returning to his mind as the reality of what he was about to do hit him all at once. 

“I can’t do this.” 

He stopped dead in his tracks, losing all of his nerve. 

“Sure you can,” Jongin reassured him, “you don’t have to go all in at once. You can start off slowly. Tell him you’re gay, see how he reacts then take it from there."

Baekhyun nodded. He supposed breaking it down into more manageable steps would take a load off.

"We'll be here with you if you need us," Junmyeon reassured him. 

Taemin nodded in agreement, "we'll stay until you tell us not to.

Baekhyun didn't think he'd ever walked slower down Chanyeol's path. The others were waiting for him on the pavement, Baekhyun having decided to go it alone. He started to have regrets when he approached the front door, his hand poised to knock. He wasn't sure he could do it without an extra nudge.

Tentatively, he rapped the door three times and waited. 

His heart was pounding so harshly that he could hear his pulse swimming in his ears. His terror was deafening and every fibre of his being was begging him to bolt, to protect himself and to save his friendship. 

He knew he had come too far to give up, though, so he stayed rooted to the ground, breathing in and out sharply. 

When the hall light came on and the handle turned, Baekhyun's vision started to blur.

It was Chanyeol's sister who opened the door. She was wearing her pyjamas and looked like she had crawled out of bed to get to the door. She didn't seem particularly irked by Baekhyun's presence but she did offer a confused smile.

"Hi, Baekhyun," she said as politely as she could through the last dregs of sleep, "Is everything okay?"

Looking behind him, she raised her eyebrows at the motley crew at the bottom of her path.

"Hi, Yoora. Sorry if I woke you I...is Chanyeol still here? I did tell him I was coming…"

"Oh! Yeah sure. He's such a brat why is he not listening out for you?"

"Computer games." Baekhyun shrugged. It seemed like an obvious answer to him.

Yoora raised an eyebrow and rolled her eyes, "he's like a child."

Before heading back into the house to fetch her brother, Yoora took a closer look at Baekhyun's costume.

"You look beautiful, Baek," she said with a sincere smile, "I don't think I've ever seen you in such a pretty outfit with the glitter and all. Let me guess. Freddie?" 

Baekhyun nodded, bashfully. 

"Well, you're the spit of him, Baekie. And your friends look amazing," she leaned in closer to whisper in his ear, "and you can introduce me to your fairy friend another time."

Baekhyun spared her the details about the fairy's relationship with the vampire on his right hand side, opting to nod with a wink instead. 

As soon as Yoora’s back began to head down the hall, Baekhyun felt his stomach churn once more, no longer having anything to focus on. 

“You’ll be fine, Baek,” Sehun whisper shouted, thankfully having regained some social consciousness once again. 

Until Baekhyun saw Chanyeol’s feet coming down the stairs, he ran those words over in his mind like a stuck record. 

When Chanyeol stepped into the light, Baekhyun couldn’t help the gasp that slipped out.

He looked dashingly handsome in his vest top and shorts that exposed his tanned, muscular arms, decorated with tattoos that Baekhyun could map out with his eyes closed. He still had the remnants of some Halloween makeup clinging to his eyes which brought out his doe eyes. Baekhyun was captivated by him, even more so now that he had admitted his attraction out loud. 

“Hey, Baek. You okay?”

No. He was a mess but he wouldn’t admit that.

“You know, if you leave that makeup on, your skin will break out,” he went for instead, feeling much more comfortable laughing and joking. 

“You know I have skin of steel. You might be a baby but I could wash my face with motor oil and still be fine,” he joked back, an air of discomfort creeping into his voice, “Baek, what’s this about?” he glanced at the others who were looking on anxiously, “who are those guys?”

“They're my friends from…” he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t get the words out. 

The world began to spin and Baekhyun felt like the ground was going to collapse from under him. Clenching his fists at his side, Baekhyun struggled to contain his tears. The prospect of losing Chanyeol and him having to go forever without him suddenly seemed far more important than anything in the world. 

It didn’t ever come to falling tears, thankfully, because Junmyeon appeared at Baekhyun’s side, looping a strong arm around Baekhyun’s own.

“Hi, Chanyeol,” he held out a hand to shake Chanyeol’s own, “I’m Junmyeon. Baekhyun’s friend.”

Chanyeol tilted his head to the side, pensively. 

“I’ve never heard him mention you before.”

“I’m a new friend,” Junmyeon explained while still being too vague to cause Baekhyun any more turmoil, “we’re all new friends.”

He gestured towards the others who all waved back. Chanyeol lifted his arm reluctantly, still not sure what to make of everything. 

“The maid is Sehun. My fiance…”

Baekhyun’s eyes shot up to Chanyeol’s face, desperately scrambling to assess his reaction. It was suddenly clear what Junmyeon was trying to do. He was testing the waters by putting himself on the line before Baekhyun. 

“The vampire is Taemin. The fairy is Jongin, Taemin’s boyfriend,” he cupped a hand around his mouth theatrically, “but they think I don’t know.”

Chanyeol’s smile was taught and uncomfortable. Baekhyun was convinced he was going to vomit. 

“We met at a bar, Yeollie,” Baekhyun said with far more confidence than he actually harboured. “It’s...it’s called Missing. Do you know it?”   
  


“No.” Chanyeol almost shot back, the single syllable holding more emotion than it should have. 

“I...well it’s…”

“I know what it is, Baek,” Chanyeol snapped, causing Baekhyun to leap backwards, crashing into Junmyeon’s sturdy frame, “why are you telling me this? What do you want from me?!”

His voice was trembling and he became overly defensive considering Baekhyun had barely said a word. 

“I don’t want anything, Yeollie,” Baekhyun’s bottom lip began to tremble and even Junmyeon’s tight grip on his wrist did nothing to ground him, “I only want to talk to you. Please, Yeol. Let me talk to you.” 

Chanyeol looked directly into his eyes, both of them painful and glassy, and shook his head. He began to back towards the house, opening the door behind him, not breaking the intense eye contact with Baekhyun despite it very clearly stinging both of them.

“I can’t do this right now, Baek,” he said, almost pleading for Baekhyun not to say another word, “I’m sorry. I can’t…”

The first hot tear slid down Baekhyun’s cheek and his hands began to tremble uncontrollably. He was certain he heard his heart crack in his chest and he wondered if the other men could feel the ripples of pain as they pulsated from his shaking body.

“Please, Yeollie,” Baekhyun practically begged him, “I haven’t said what I wanted to say yet.”

The only saving grace in the situation was the fact that Chanyeol looked genuinely guilty. Which begged the question, why? Why was he ripping Baekhyun’s heart to shreds if he felt bad about it? Why was he backing away at all?

Was he repulsed by the mere notion that Baekhyun might be anything other than straight? Was he disgusted by him?

Except that didn’t make sense. That wasn’t the Chanyeol Baekhyun knew. Chanyeol was kind, caring, empathetic. Chanyeol had a heart of gold. Chanyeol was the boy who would befriend anyone, who would cling onto the words of any person who requested his attention. There was no way he was giving up on Baekhyun like this.

Baekhyun wouldn’t have it.

“I haven’t even asked you ‘trick or treat’ yet.” Baekhyun knew how pathetic he sounded, in front of an audience too, but he desperately needed Chanyeol to stay a little while longer. To let him say the few words that had been brewing inside of Baekhyun for so many years now. He needed to let the butterfly out of its cage. Even if it meant watching it fly away right before his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Baek.”

The door shut gently behind the other man but to Baekhyun it sounded deafening. What was even more deafening was the night’s silence. 

“Oh my God,” he choked out, vision blurred and eyes stinging from the tears in his tired eyes, “Oh my, God.”

Junmyeon didn’t say a word before he wrapped Baekhyun up in a tight hug, clinging onto him with all of his might while the young man cried into his shoulder, his body vibrating with sadness, his sobs painful. 

It wasn’t until Baekhyun was alone again in his bed that the tears stopped falling. 

He wasn’t certain whether he had calmed down somewhat or whether he had simply run out of energy. The emptiness hadn’t gone away.

The others had left him as soon as they had walked Baekhyun home, allowing him some space to sleep. Maybe things would be clearer in the morning, they had said. Baekhyun wasn’t sure he wanted to see tomorrow if it meant he would have to live it without Chanyeol. 

Before leaving, Sehun had requested Baekhyun’s phone number so that they could meet again and even in his crushing sadness, Baekhyun was so grateful to have met him that night. As one door starts to close, another one always opens and Sehun had held the door open for Baekhyun so that he could meet his true self for the first time. Baekhyun liked his true self a great deal and he believed that one day when the pain blew over, he would be able to thank Sehun for everything he did in such a short space of time.

Without bothering to shed any clothing other than his jacket, Baekhyun dove onto his bed and curled in on himself, having nothing but the low tones of his CD player to keep his mind occupied. 

He scrunched his eyes shut and strained his mind to focus on the words to the songs, listening to Freddie Mercury’s voice once again but unable to miss how differently the words hit after the evening he had just had. 

When the slow, mellow song  _ Don’t try so hard  _ whispered over the speakers, the tears began to fall again. 

_ If you’re searching for something  _

_ Don’t try so hard  _

_ If you’re feeling kind of nothing  _

_ Don’t try so hard _

_ When your problems feel like mountains  _

_ Feel the need to find some answers  _

_ You can leave it for another day _

_ Don’t try so hard. _

Baekhyun couldn’t shake the idea that he hadn’t tried hard enough. Bitterness crept into his mouth when it crossed his mind that Chanyeol hadn’t tried at all. 

“It’s only fools who make these rules,” Baekhyun echoed the lyrics of the songs. 

And, boy was the world rife with fools. 

Fools like Baekhyun’s mother who was so trapped in her ways that she couldn’t even see the ropes holding her down anymore. Fools like Chanyeol who couldn’t even look past the rules of people who don’t care about men like Baekhyun for long enough to look his friend in the eyes with acceptance. With kindness. 

Fools like Baekhyun who had lived in the clouds for so long that they believed these rules might not matter anymore. 

It was that thought that concluded Baekhyun’s day before he drifted off to sleep.

A banging at his bedroom window startled Baekhyun out of his slumber. With a start, he shot up in his bed, his head viciously pounding from the alcohol and his body pulsating with adrenaline. 

“What the-” 

Steadily, he crawled from his bed and pulled back his curtains. 

It was still dark outside so it took a while for Baekhyun’s eyes to focus on the figure hovering on the roof resting under Baekhyun’s window. 

“Chanyeol?!”   
  


As sure as anything, Chanyeol was balancing on the roof in nothing but his shorts and a scruffy hoodie. He looked freezing cold and judging by the bags under his eyes, shadowy in the low light, he looked as awful as Baekhyun felt. 

It was nearly impossible to lift the handle on the window because Baekhyun’s hands were dripping with sweat but he eventually managed, swinging it open and demanding that Chanyeol come inside. 

“You’ll freeze, Chanyeol!” He hissed. 

The other man clambered across the roof and hoisted himself into the window, barely able to fit through due to the sheer size of him. He didn’t take so much as a single breath before spewing words at rapid speed. 

“Baek, I can explain. I was such a dick earlier but I can explain...I’m so sorry. I panicked and I didn’t understand what you were trying to tell me. I thought it was a set up but when I left you I saw you crying and I understood. I get it now, Baek, what you were trying to tell me and I know I was an idiot but I wasn’t thinking straight and I-”   
  


“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun cut him off, grabbing onto his shoulders in desperation, “stop. Slow down. It’s fine. I probably freaked you out I shouldn't have turned up out of the blue like that but you’re here now so it’s fine-”

“No, Baek,” Chanyeol rubbed his hand over his face, “no it isn’t fine. There’s something I need to tell you.”   
  


“Ah, ah, ah. No. Me first,” Baekhyun demanded. He needed to sort this out once and for all. 

Grabbing his friend’s hand, Baekhyun walked them both over to the bed, noting that his CD was still spinning round and round and round waiting to be switched off. But Baekhyun had other priorities. 

“When I asked you if you knew the bar, what I was trying to tell you was-”

“That you know I’ve been there.”

Baekhyun couldn’t tell a lie, he was stunned. 

“I...no,” he insisted, “I...I was  _ trying  _ to tell you that  _ I  _ had been there. Today - well, yesterday, I suppose - with the guys I was with. I didn’t know you went there…”

“Why were you there?” Chanyeol seemed genuinely befuddled.

Baekhyun swore that if Chanyeol had any brains, he’d be dangerous. It must have been all of the video games. 

“Are you joking?” Chanyeol’s blank stare implied that, no, he wasn’t. Baekhyun was losing patience, “I’m  _ gay. _ ”

No effort was made on Chanyeol’s part to hide his shock.

“Wait, Baek-”

“Do NOT cut me off,” Baekhyun held his hand up to stop Chanyeol in his tracks, “I’m not done.”

In all of Baekhyun’s nighttime fantasies, he had never quite imagined he would confess his feelings quite like this. In his mind, it had always been more romantic. Maybe it would have happened in the rain like in a trashy Hollywood movie. Maybe Baekhyun would have confessed during one of their late-night phone calls, as though they were destined long-distance lovers who were so close to one another yet so far. 

Life is never like a Hollywood movie, however. Nothing ever runs smoothly. 

“I…” Baekhyun took the deepest breath he could, “I like you, Chanyeol. I mean, as more than a friend. I have for a long time now. I have wanted to tell you for so long, longer than you would ever imagine and,” he let out the breath, “I don’t expect you to feel the same but holy shit, it feels good to finally say it.”

The silence that stretched out between them felt long and arduous. 

“Are you not going to say anything?”   
  


Chanyeol had seemingly turned to stone. Even his eyes, usually his weakness due to their expressive nature, failed to give away how he felt. He merely stared at Baekhyun.

“Do you have any questions? I can’t promise I’ll be able to-”   
  


When Chanyeol’s lips crashed against Baekhyun’s own, it was a wonder they didn’t both fall off the bed. Chanyeol’s lips collided with Baekhyun’s smaller, softer ones with such force that Baekhyun wondered if they would bruise. 

Thoroughly stunned, Baekhyun froze in place, allowing Chanyeol to move his lips while Baekhyun’s own remained frozen. He was too stunned to even close his eyes. 

Sensing Baekhyun’s discomfort, Chanyeol leaned back, his eyes finally giving away his feelings. He was panicking. 

“Oh shit! I shouldn’t have...I didn’t mean to...fuck!”

He buried his head in his hands. 

What a mess. In the future, they may look back at that moment and laugh at the hilarity of two men with mixed up feelings and no idea what they were doing trying to navigate something as simple as a kiss. 

“Yeol, it’s fine. I promise.”

Shifting closer to the other man so that their knees were touching, Baekhyun placed a hand on either side of Chanyeol’s face. 

“I want to kiss you, Chanyeol. Hell, I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone more but...you kind of caught me by surprise.”

They both chuckled, feeling slightly embarrassed and kind of in disbelief. 

“I really...I really didn’t think you’d like me back, Yeol. So...you surprised me that’s all…”

Their second kiss was far gentler. Chanyeol leaned in slowly with a slight tilt to the head and Baekhyun carefully followed his lead. With less gusto, their lips touched and Baekhyun was able to relish in the warmth of the other man properly. 

Chanyeol’s lips were far too chapped and he kissed a little too eagerly but the way Baekhyun’s nerves began to buzz was overwhelming. With every movement, a little more breath was torn from Baekhyun’s lungs and into Chanyeol. They clung onto each other so tightly, desperate to be as close as possible, passing the heat of their affection between the two of them. 

Years of pent up feelings were running through that kiss and it could never last long enough to express just how much it meant to either of them. 

There was still too much left to say, however. 

They pulled apart feeling the tension had slipped away from them, their minds much clearer and their hearts much warmer. 

“Wow,” Baekhyun breathed, “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

“Ha,” Chanyeol laughed in disbelief, “me too…you...you’re so beautiful. And right now, you look more beautiful than ever with the glitter and your hair...Freddie, huh?”

Baekhyun chuckled, “you know me so well.”

They looked at each other with as much emotion as they always had except this time, for the first time, the veil of innocence had been removed and they both knew exactly what that emotion was. 

“Have we both been really fucking stupid?” Baekhyun had to ask.

Chanyeol didn’t humour him with an answer they both already knew, instead leaning in for another short kiss. 

“I really like you, Baekhyun.”

“I really like you, too,” and Baekhyun meant it wholeheartedly, “I think we could have gone about this in a less...painful way but...I am so relieved.”

“Me too.”

They leaned in for yet another kiss. A lengthy one this time.

There was still so much between them that had to be said but for now, in that moment, they were happy holding each other. 

Their bodies were tired and their minds were winding down so they fell back onto the bed, holding each other close. 

These things never happen like they do in the movies. In real life, love and romance and first kisses are far scarier. They are far scarier because they are real. Unlike the love in movies, or the demons that walk the streets on Halloween night. Unlike fictional love and the otherworldly feeling of Halloween, love endures. The fear of love lies in the fact that it endures even when a romance, a friendship, or a movie has run its course. 

They confessed their love on the scariest night of the year and it was far more terrifying than the monsters they had seen. 

But it all felt worth it as they fell asleep together, Baekhyun’s arms wrapped around Chanyeol’s waist and Chanyeol’s fingers running through Baekhyun’s hair. 

  
  
  


***

  
  


It was unclear how long they had slept before Baekhyun’s mother shouted up the stairs. 

“Baekhyun! You’ll never believe this! Someone has thrown toilet paper over the neighbour’s house! How utterly barbaric!” 

Both men groaned as they emerged from sleep, both a little disoriented until the memories from the night before crept back into their minds.

As soon as Baekhyun remembered why Chanyeol was in his bed fully dressed, he turned over and smiled. 

“Hey, you,” he greeted, feeling lighter than he had in a long time.

“Morning, Baek.”

Their first kiss of the day was the most tender yet. Baekhyun was certain his mouth was laced with the taste of alcohol but Chanyeol didn’t seem to mind, only drawing him in closer. 

They would have kissed for hours had Baekhyun’s mother not rapped on the door. 

“Byun Baekhyun! You better not still be asleep at this hour!” 

She barely gave them a millisecond to leap apart before barging in the room. She was less than pleased to see Chanyeol but at least she hadn’t seen them kissing. 

“Baekhyun,” she hissed, “a word.” 

She closed the door behind her thankfully and Baekhyun thumped his chest to settle his pounding heart.

“Maybe we won't kiss here in future?”

That amused Chanyeol to no end for some reason. Cheekily, he pecked Baekhyun’s lips anyway.

“Take it you’re not going to tell her then?” He teased, bringing Baekhyun in for one of his tight bear hugs. He had owed him one, after all.

“No way! It’s not Halloween any more and I’ve had enough of a fright to last me a lifetime! She will find out over my dead body!” 

“But it was worth it, right? Having the ‘fright of your life’, I mean.” Chanyeol fluttered his eyes in a way that Baekhyun found adorable. 

“Of course.”

And he meant it. He had never meant anything with as much sincerity in his entire life.

They allowed themselves one more kiss before Baekhyun booted Chanyeol out of the door and sent him home. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> The album Baekhyun was listening to: https://open.spotify.com/album/5kffKW0sSLo6tkLg1veUGC
> 
> This was just a bit of fun. It was supposed to be a quarter of this length so I may have pushed my luck...  
> Comments and kudos are appreciated so I can gauge if it's good or like...shit jfhDJFjhJ.   
> Hope you enjoyed!! Take care and stay safe! 
> 
> Twitter: @yeoloutof10 if you want to follow :D but I do chat shite mostly.


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